just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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