Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this will be a night to untag.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize