she kept yelling 'call me bella'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
