Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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