I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize