why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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