Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
