fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it hurts more in the daytime
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
