Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
