I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Text me some of your sweat
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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