is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
organizing the empties. That sober.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
