2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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