Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
PANTIES FOUND
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
