im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
