He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
honey bunches of taint.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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