Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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