He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
