I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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