How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
