Sponge bath it is.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
