how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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