And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize