You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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