I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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