Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
