I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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