:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
