Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Randomize
