We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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