addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
