I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize