My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
