The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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