Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
