I CAN MOONWALK!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found puke in my bra..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
