He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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