Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
