I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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