Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
