before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
