I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
