the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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