did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize