I want to have your abortion
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
