I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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