Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
