People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
