They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pooping to opera.
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