Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize