why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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