i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
