your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
