This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
