Cold hands, warm shart.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
