yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
