It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize