Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My ass is underappreciated
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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