Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and she was petting her beer can
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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