Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
