We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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