I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
