I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
