Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He has the fingertips of a God
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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